Monday, May 15, 2006

And Now For Something Completely Different

Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are
May 10, 2006

BATON ROUGE, LA—In a breakthrough study that contradicts decades of understanding about the nature of alligator–drunkard relations, Louisiana State University researchers have concluded that people's drunkenness does not impair the ancient reptiles' ability to inflict enormous physical harm.

Alligators exhibit the potential to inflict serious harm, regardless of the blood-alcohol levels of their victims.
"Our data strongly indicates that human intoxication does not transform an alligator into a docile creature that enjoys wrestling," said professor Ryder McCrory, chair of the Wildlife Taunting Department of LSU's prestigious Center For Bullying And Hazing Studies. "Despite its slow-witted demeanor and tendency to bask motionlessly in the hot sun, it's a mistake to believe that an alligator will passively tolerate a half nelson, no matter how much Southern Comfort is fueling it."
McCrory said the study yielded statistics that speak for themselves.

(Full Story)

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holly Crap!! Florida is full of aligators right?

Ever see any like this?

4:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These alligator stories remind me of the shark-attack stories flooding the news a few years ago.

On a related note, I once heard that if an alligator is after you on land - run in a zigzag motion to get out of the way because they'll become confused and stop. I wonder if that's true?

7:26 AM  
Blogger Van said...

Yes, it's true. A good friend was chassed by a gator on a gulfcourse in St Pete. He avoided being bit by running in a circle, then beating the gator with a golf club.

I guess he got too close to the nest? He wasn't sure why it tried to attack him.

Close call though, he said it was about 8 feet long. That's enough to hurt.

I see them while kayaking all of the time, but I've never been threatened.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's why I stay indoors. At least they don't have alligators in Colorado.

Of course, they do have bears. So I'll stay indoors there, too.

7:23 AM  

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